Here are the 25 Keys for a Black Man, or a Black Woman to Be Elected President of The United States of America! Senator Barack Obama’s historic run for the Presidency has led Blogging Black.Com to give a short virtual how to manual on How a Black Man or a Black Woman Can Win the Presidency!
Here are the 25 Keys for a Black Man, or a Black Woman to Be Elected President of The United States of America!
1. One must definitely be married to an African-American Female, or an African American Male in the case of those Sisters Who are Seeking America’s Highest Office!
2. One must Attend the Right Ultra Conservative and Socially Acceptable Black Church where the Pastor only preaches 3 Points and A Poem Messages about The Pie in the Sky When We Die! Your preacher must not whoop, nor may there be any bucking, or praise breaks at anytime in your respective church!
3. Never Speak Sternly to the Traditional Media!
4. A Complimentary Yessa, and Yes Maam every now and then wouldn’t hurt!
5. One must have a truly spotless background! You must have never used drugs of any kind, and you must never ever have called even 1 white person a honky before!
6. You must never challenge anyone white on slavery, institutional racism, the treatment of the poor, and most of all affirmative action!
7. You must never ever mention Louis Farrakhan, Malcom X, and God forbid The Late Dr. Khallid Muhammad in any speech unless it is to denounce them!
8. You must never receive an endorsement from Charles Barkley, Rappers, or Outspoken Black Talk Show Hosts!
9. You must bow, shine, coon, laugh when you are not tickled, and scratch when you don’t itch when you are encountered by the conservative media!
10. You must have many great accomplishments, 50 years of experience in any field, and at least 6-8 different degrees from Ivy League Schools to even be remotely viewed as qualified!
11. You must never ever side with your people on Economic Issues! You must never ever ever mention the need to help African American Businesses!
12. You must make even Bob, Sue Ann, and Charley in Whooterville,Tennessee to feel comfortable with you!
13. You must wear an American Flag at all times on your lapel or your dress if we have any aspiring African American Females out there!
14. You must almost bruise your chest in putting your hand over your heart when the Pledge of Allegiance is being administered!
15. Your Eyes Must Be White, Your Teeth Must be Perfect! Single Breasted S & K Type Suits are the only Acceptable Dress that You May Have! You must always wear white shirts!
16. Never Seek the Endorsement of Oprah Winfrey, Rev. Al Sharpton, or Rev. Jesse Jackson in your bid for the Presidency!
17. You must only listen to God Bless America Type Songs in Your Run for the Presidency!
18. You must not have any facial hair, dreads, or trendy haircuts during your run for the Presidency! You must definitely not have a process hairdo!
19. You must highly exalt the memory of Former President Reagan at all times!
20. When Dirty Politics is aimed at you, you must never confront it!
21. You must never use the word Unfair at any time during your run! You must be seen eating Apple Pie at all times, never be seen eating Hot Wings, nor Chitlings!
22. Your family must resemble the Cosby Family, even your fifth cousin once removed can’t afford an arrest nor a divorce during your run for the Presidency! Cousin Bookie, Cousin Ray Ray, and by all means Cousin Dacresia Nem must be avoided at all costs! You must never let your Mom talk to the media at anytime!
23. You must carry a Bible at all times, but you must never hold Mainstream America accountable to the Tenets of the Bible!
24. You must never speak in argumentative tones to anyone white in Public!
25. You must emulate The House Negro of Years Past to gain Acceptance in Rural, and even in some of Mainstream America ! Being a tad bit light skin in your pursuit of this noble office wouldn’t hurt any also! You must always use the term The White House in your run for the Presidency, never ever call it the Presidential Crib!
Here are the 25 Keys for a Black Man or a Black Woman to Be Elected President in The United States!
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