3 Responses

  1. i think it’s definitely that bad! i have at least 9 friends who i would call my closet friends. including me that makes 10. of the ten of us, only two are married and one is engaged. of the two that are married, one has a husband who is in jail–so needless to say, that marriage isn’t going so great! 70% of my friends are single, eligible black women. they are sophisticated and sexy. yet, they are single. its hard out here for a black woman. thats why i feel you have to be happy with where you are right now. being single isn’t the nicest place to be, but its a lot better than being inside of a drama-filled relationship. forget the thugs, DL brothers, and the married men. i would rather be by myself than deal with any of that foolishness. and that’s the truth!

  2. You know what is happening as well. There are a lot of woman out there that start off looking for BAD boys and thugs, not all, but a lot, and they diss the good brothas to the point where they either go else where looking for a real relationship, or turn bad because of someone else (its sad but i’ve seen it countless times). Also i’ve seen good men dogged out by woman and just turned all out sour or stayed away from sistas all together.

    Also there are more woman then men, and woman end up getting with those bad boys doing exactly what they do because they are bad boys and cheat on them (a reason for the spread of STDs) and after babies, and a washed up life, then the good guy becomes appealing. At that point though, unless God blesses the woman, a good man will not want them, its like why the hell do I want to settle for you? Everyone deserves a second chance, but we as imperfect humas will not always give eachother that option.

    It begans with parents, we can’t be BFF’s to our kids, we are their parents for a reason. If kids see us doing wrong, or applauding them for saying curse words at a young age (which isn’t cute at all) then we basically are showing them that we have an appreciation for bad behavior. We need to put our feet down, and kids need to know what is bad, period. This would be applied to many things, especially relationships, you don’t get into a relationship for sex, you get in a relationship because you have a compatibility and attraction to someone. If its just sex you can get sex anywhere, so you will go else where because there is no incentive to stay, especially if you could careless about the individual emotionally.

    Especially men jumping ship when a woman gets pregnant, and she hasn’t cheated. Real commitment brings faith to the relationship. if you can’t be faithful DON’T HAVE A RELATIONSHIP, just stay single (it will get tiresome) but no reason to pull anyone else into a relationship to get sex and its not going to go anywhere. Being real and standing up for what you want instead of deceiving someone for sex, its lame but lying isn’t new. Parents need to teach about sex, and having aspirations in life, do research, and embrace your God given talents. Opportunity doesn’t always fall in your lap, you have to do work. Being outside isn’t always the best thing either, and sending kids outside with nothing to do might mean they will find something to get into, or something may find them (trouble). Know where your kids are, who their friends (and friends parents) are, stress to teachers that you want your child in the front of the classroom to maximize their learning. Be a part of your childs life more than just being their actual parent.

    Thats the reason the Bible should be read, because if we actually followed it, we would be able to enjoy the benefits of the Word of God. No sex before marriage would give us peace of mind as far as STDs, and closing the door to them.

    I don’t recommend anyone getting into a relathipship with someone and its drama left and right (which is why we should get to know someone before we take that step). I’d say get to know someone atleast 6 months to a year, don’t be ashamed about asking to see their blood test results either, because its a concern that people don’t look into until its too late. Some don’t get tested because they are scared, but thats a reason why people shouldn’t move at the speed of lust.

    This all goes back to sistas being single: Good men avoiding because of bad experiences | sistas being scorned by bad brothas | no available men | no brothas with aspirations in sight | brothas with records | etc.

    So based on our experiences we can teach our kids better, and not letting them fall in those same pitfalls (teen parents, procrastinating, etc.).

  3. I would say that men to a fault are visual creatures. We don’t approach women who we think are the smartest, has the best job, or has the biggest house; we approach (instinctively) the woman that we have the best chance of producing offspring with, and historically these are the women with best bodies, and best looks. On the flipside of that, women are attracted (instinctively) to the man that will provide the most for her and their future kids, being that for the last 50,000 years women have depended on a man to bring home the hunt and prevent starvation (hence, the tall, muscular masculine man that woman are nautraly attracted to would have had the better chance of getting a kill in 50,000 years ago). Over a long period of time people with these traits were more sucessful at producing and had a better chance of sustaining a family. These genes and similar traits were passed on to future generations of people. Unfortunately, these primitive instincts are with us today and have been perversed with devastating consequences on both parts. This is a very complicated and controversial argument not done much justice with the above explanation. But i feel compelled to shed some light on this subject for any woman whom may have question why they are “sucessful” and “can’t find a good man.” Its not necessarily that there aren’t any good men (just ask the dumb, jobeless, beatiful girl with the bangin body if she has a problem with attracting good men) its that this society definiton of “success” has made you instinctively unattractive to the hunter (whom would rather not be with another hunter.)

    Very, very controversial and difficult topic. To understand you have to step out of the realm of religion, culture and ubringing, something most of you can’t do—understandable. But changing your prespective on this will undoubtedly allow you to understand in totality every descision a man makes– even when he doesn’t

    Troy–your average black guy

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